Mom: I was talking to a girl at work about her daughter's wedding. She said that for a centerpiece they had a big majestic vase that they filled with apples, and then put some flowers on top.
Me: How is that different from what I said last week about filling the bottom of the vases with limes and then putting flowers in? You didn't like that idea at all.
Mom: No, you don't understand. They had a big majestic vase filled with apples, and that's it!
Me: Oh...one big majestic vase. I get it.
Mom: One majestic vase! In the middle of the room, and everyone could look at it.
Me: Wait...one? Like, one centerpiece.
Mom: Yeah! A majestic one.
Me: So what was on the tables?
Mom: Nothing! The big vase was so pretty that everyone just looked at that!
Me: So, you want me to have white linens...and one giant majestic apple-filled vase that everyone will spend the entire reception staring at?
Mom: What? You don't think that will be nice?
This is why when people ask me, "How's the wedding planning coming?" I just walk away.