Bowl of Self-Esteem

I got married on Saturday, August 15th. And it was an absolute blast. It was everything I hoped it would be. Namely, my sisters sang with pretend microphones all night and when it was over I didn't drive Tom home. Mission accomplished.

So, married Saturday, dying of some horrible infection on Tuesday. What was it? "In sickness and in health"? 90% of our marriage thus far has been the sickness part. I blame the air conditioner. Before I moved to Massachusetts 2 years ago, my future landlady (and unbeknownst to me, archnemesis) called and said that her current tenant had an air conditioner that she wouldn't need in her next apartment. I could purchase it from her at a discount. At the time I was living in Alabama in July and an air conditioner sounded like the best idea ever.

So, I bought it. Moved here and realized that my apartment stayed 20 degrees cooler than the rest of the world. Which was great in the summer. Pretty miserable in the winter. But that's beside the point. We took the unit out of the window when cold air started coming in, and it sat in the closet ever after. 2 years. Bottom of the closet. Never cleaned.

When we got back to our new house (yay new house no landlady woo!) after the wedding, it was 1000 degrees. Really. I used a candy thermometer. So, we put the A/C in the window and cranked that bad boy up. I woke up sounding like a 40 pack year smoker. Hmmm. Maybe I wasn't used to air conditioning. It'll be okay. Used it again the next night, woke up even froggier. And a little sniffly.

Me: "Do window units have air filters or anything on them?"
Tom: "Yeah."
Me: "Did we clean it before we used it?"
Tom: "I don't think so."
Me: "We should probably do that."

Pull out the filter. It is DISGUSTING. It is black with filth. Covered with mold and other particles that I have been breathing for two nights. Awesome. So, we clean it, pop it back in and hope for the best. The next morning I can't breathe. But as the day progresses I feel better and I assume I've caught a cold on top of the horrible allergic reaction that started the week. I do a 24 hour shift, and things go downhill from there. On Thursday I ended up having to get someone to relieve me at work because I was too sick to be on the hospital unit. The nurses were all eyeing me. Hello our patients are already sick, they don't need whatever you have too.

Went home and decided to try to have a bowl of soup to soothe my throat. I went to the cabinet to pull out a bowl, and there was my trusty "Bowl of Self-Esteem." It was a graduation gift from my master's thesis advisor, and it's my favorite bowl because it will hold an entire package of ramen noodles in broth without coming anywhere near spilling. It's a huge bowl. I only use it when I'm sick, but it never fails. When it gets to the point that I'm resorting to ramen, there's the bowl ready to go. I realized for the first time why this is. Because it is the largest, the bowl of self-esteem is always at the bottom of the stack. It's always ready to go when I am at my sickest because at that point, EVERY OTHER DISH AND BOWL THAT I OWN IS DIRTY. When I am sick, my house becomes a sty.

It took me 4 years to figure this out. Before I just assumed it was magical and sensed when it was needed. Because apparently when I am sick I super-anthropomorphize my dishes. Awesome.

So, I finally went to the doctor on Friday where I was dosed with antibiotics and narcotic cough syrup. I slept 12 hours that night and woke up a much happier camper. Completely better now, and the bowl is back at the bottom of the stack where it belongs. Hopefully I can stay well long enough to make it to my honeymoon on Saturday. :)

Freedom!

I am officially off orientation. Thank GOD. This means that rather than anxiously awaiting a phone call every single day, I can now look forward to only receiving those calls 9 days a month. Which means that I now have a significant amount of free time. So, today I left the house for something other than work or groceries. (Actually, it was just errands, but it was still better than sitting in my apartment.) So, some observations from the day:

1. It is ridiculous that you can inhale secondhand smoke while driving 70 mph. It's so disgusting to think that all of a sudden you're inhaling chemicals someone else has already EXHALED. Eeew. Cars of smokers should have some sort of negative pressure system.

2. It's really flippin' cold here. I mean, I knew it was cold outside, but I leave my house so infrequently that it hasn't been a huge deal. It's 33 degrees out now (warmer than it has been) and the weather guy is saying temperatures will be dropping at the end of the week. WHY?? The stores in the mall are putting out swimsuits. It's making me sad.

3. I went shopping. By myself. I wanted to eat lunch at a restaurant so I wouldn't be at home eating leftover lasagne by myself for the 3rd day in a row. (And lunch by myself for the...how many days have I been living here?...time in a row.) But I don't know anyone who isn't at work all day or in Alabama, so I decided to stop for takeout. I was craving sushi but it's too cold to take the T into the city, so I decided to try the tiny little sushi place near my house. Bad. Idea. I had to email Tom at work.

"If you find me dead tonight, it's because I ate at Sushi Corner. Just to let you know."

4. No one can replace my watch battery. I went to 3 different jewelry stores, and they all said they'd have to send it out. The result of which would probably be at least 2 weeks without my watch, and about $30 to get it back. Not cool. Especially considering I took it to the Kay Jewelers in the mall in Alabama and for $10 and 5 minutes, I had a new battery. Kay Jewelers up here? "I'll have to send it out." Argh.

So, I'm back at home and I'm going to read a book. While hugging my space heater. And possibly later a bucket because seriously the sushi was such a bad idea. laters.