I worked overnight and was completely starved and exhausted. So, I stopped at a gas station for fuel and a sandwich. And yes, it is totally gross that I ate at a gas station Subway.
I intended to order the same thing I always order at Subway. A tuna salad sandwich with lettuce, tomato, olives, and topped with oil and vinegar. Again, gross, I know. Instead, Zombie Sam decided to order the food.
Subway Kid: "What can I get for you?"
Zombie Me: "I'll have an egg and cheese on honey...wow. No I won't. Sorry. Can I get a tuna sandwich on....do you have some kind of honey bread?"
SK: "Honey Oat?"
Me: "Yes! That please."
Note: At this point this kid is looking at me like he really wishes he had some of whatever I was on.
SK: "What would you like on it?"
Me: "Lettuce, tomato, and olives"
SK: "Mayonnaise or mustard?"
Me: "No, just salt and vinegar."
SK: "Ok...salt and vinegar."
And he starts shaking salt onto my sandwich.
Me: "Why are you putting salt on my sandwich?!"
SK: "You wanted salt and vinegar?"
Me: "Salt and vinegar? Oh my God no....OIL and vinegar. I'm sorry. Just give it to me."
SK: "Are you sure? I can make you another one."
Me: "No no, it's my fault. I'll eat it. Thanks."
FYI...it was gross. Luckily I'd also purchased a bag of pepperidge far macadamia nut cookies to wash it down with. Mmmmm....healthy. :-p
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Monday, March 22, 2010
Open Letter
Dear Census,
I was on your side. Why are you doing this to me?
When my raging Republican father told me that the Census was a government ploy to enter our homes and give all our personal information to corrupt ACORN workers, I calmly defended you. When Michelle Bachman popped up urging me not to answer the Census, I threw things at my own television. And when my mother said that despite what I thought about the usefulness of Census data, it was still a huge waste of money, I again explained to her your value.
Please stop proving my mother right. It is painful to me.
Two weeks ago I received a letter in the mail with a return address of "Census 2010." I was genuinely excited to have received my very own Census form. I was going to answer every question just to spite my parents. Also because I love public health and understand the ramifications of frikkin' Census data. So imagine my surprise when I opened the letter, pencil in hand, to find that it was not a survey. Rather it was a letter explaining that in the next week or so, I would be receiving a Census survey. Um...okay? That was a waste of whatever in God's name postage costs this week. And I shudder to think of what you spent sending that letter to every household in America. Particularly because I am of the opinion that those members of society least likely to answer the Census accurately and completely (i.e. The Teabaggers...God I love that they call themselves that) are going to need more than a letter outlining the way the Census benefits our society to change their minds. Pretty sure they're immune to facts. And Glenn Beck is taking down social justice too, so it's all downhill from here.
Anyway, I thought the letter was dumb. I put my pencil down and awaited the (way too) heralded arrival of my actual census form.
About 5 days later, it came. I got the short form. None of the questions that my father feared were destroying America were even there! And I was so looking forward to telling Barack Hussein Obama my life story! In the end I put my and Tom's names in the little blanks, confessed to being totally uninteresting in the ethnicity department, and mailed the stupid thing back in. How anti-climactic.
And then today I got a postcard in the mail. From the Census Bureau. Letting me know that a few days ago I should have received a request to participate in the Census. And that it was important that I respond. You know what's really important? Not sending $3 worth of postage for no reason! Holy crap! I support the Census. I love that it saved me a lot of leg work on papers in grad school. But I do not love that it's making my mother do her "I told you so" dance via telephone.
Not cool Census Bureau. Knock it off.
Thanks,
~Sam
I was on your side. Why are you doing this to me?
When my raging Republican father told me that the Census was a government ploy to enter our homes and give all our personal information to corrupt ACORN workers, I calmly defended you. When Michelle Bachman popped up urging me not to answer the Census, I threw things at my own television. And when my mother said that despite what I thought about the usefulness of Census data, it was still a huge waste of money, I again explained to her your value.
Please stop proving my mother right. It is painful to me.
Two weeks ago I received a letter in the mail with a return address of "Census 2010." I was genuinely excited to have received my very own Census form. I was going to answer every question just to spite my parents. Also because I love public health and understand the ramifications of frikkin' Census data. So imagine my surprise when I opened the letter, pencil in hand, to find that it was not a survey. Rather it was a letter explaining that in the next week or so, I would be receiving a Census survey. Um...okay? That was a waste of whatever in God's name postage costs this week. And I shudder to think of what you spent sending that letter to every household in America. Particularly because I am of the opinion that those members of society least likely to answer the Census accurately and completely (i.e. The Teabaggers...God I love that they call themselves that) are going to need more than a letter outlining the way the Census benefits our society to change their minds. Pretty sure they're immune to facts. And Glenn Beck is taking down social justice too, so it's all downhill from here.
(I could only watch about 3 minutes of this before I choked on my own rage.)
Anyway, I thought the letter was dumb. I put my pencil down and awaited the (way too) heralded arrival of my actual census form.
About 5 days later, it came. I got the short form. None of the questions that my father feared were destroying America were even there! And I was so looking forward to telling Barack Hussein Obama my life story! In the end I put my and Tom's names in the little blanks, confessed to being totally uninteresting in the ethnicity department, and mailed the stupid thing back in. How anti-climactic.
And then today I got a postcard in the mail. From the Census Bureau. Letting me know that a few days ago I should have received a request to participate in the Census. And that it was important that I respond. You know what's really important? Not sending $3 worth of postage for no reason! Holy crap! I support the Census. I love that it saved me a lot of leg work on papers in grad school. But I do not love that it's making my mother do her "I told you so" dance via telephone.
Not cool Census Bureau. Knock it off.
Thanks,
~Sam
Well-Read
I know I've completely stopped writing in this blog, which I really regret. I've always enjoyed writing, and the format of the blog was especially fun because you could get instantaneous feedback. Unfortunately instant feedback is also an included feature with the institute of marriage. Plus there's twitter. So I am the worst.
But, I've not just left you guys for Twitter. I've really stopped a lot of my writing because I've been too busy reading. My friend C gave me (us I guess but really me) a membership in a book club as a wedding gift. It's awesome- every month I get a signed first-edition of a book. I guess I'm probably not supposed to be reading these books, or at least not the way that I read books (I am a destroyer of spines) but I'm really enjoying them. The selections are skewed toward Southern authors- probably because that's who's willing to stop by the Alabama Booksellers and sign stuff, but I've enjoyed the vast majority so far.
So basically I have been ravenously tearing through books for the past several months. Which works well for my love of reading and my love of not watching my husband play video games. It's the gift that keeps on giving!
If you're looking for any book recommendations, feel free to drop me a line in the comments. I have a ton of suggestions. Or you can find me on Goodreads where I am writing crappy little reviews of the books that I've read. I find it really difficult to review books- I either generalize ("This was a very interesting book.") or spoil ("I really liked the part where the main character killed the bad guy.") I should probably work on that.
But, I've not just left you guys for Twitter. I've really stopped a lot of my writing because I've been too busy reading. My friend C gave me (us I guess but really me) a membership in a book club as a wedding gift. It's awesome- every month I get a signed first-edition of a book. I guess I'm probably not supposed to be reading these books, or at least not the way that I read books (I am a destroyer of spines) but I'm really enjoying them. The selections are skewed toward Southern authors- probably because that's who's willing to stop by the Alabama Booksellers and sign stuff, but I've enjoyed the vast majority so far.
So basically I have been ravenously tearing through books for the past several months. Which works well for my love of reading and my love of not watching my husband play video games. It's the gift that keeps on giving!
If you're looking for any book recommendations, feel free to drop me a line in the comments. I have a ton of suggestions. Or you can find me on Goodreads where I am writing crappy little reviews of the books that I've read. I find it really difficult to review books- I either generalize ("This was a very interesting book.") or spoil ("I really liked the part where the main character killed the bad guy.") I should probably work on that.
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