3 Rivers Liveblog

So, I'm watching this show so I can talk about it at work. And it is already painful to me.

We're toward the beginning and they're going into their "Transplant Committee Meeting." I haven't really been paying attention, primarily because if the idiot kid in the tie who was surprised that livers could be split turned out to be the transplant coordinator, I was going to throw Tom's laptop through the television. Let's take it from there.

21:17- OMG do they have their staff meetings at CNN headquarters? What is up with that CRAZY technology?! Also, projecting patient histories onto a glass wall seems like it would be a pretty big HIPAA violation.
21:18- It takes longer than "how about right now" to decide to put in a VAD. How about some workup people? She walked in off the street 20 minutes ago. Cripes.
21:19- Who is this random woman in a lab coat asking about organ donation at the bedside? Make it stop!!!!!!!
21:20- I can't liveblog this anymore. It hurts me so badly. Also Counselor Troi has aged terribly and isn't really great at doing an accent other than her own.
21:21- Okay, so Troi's husband is going to donate...the pregnant chick gets the heart...what is up with the kid who swallows things? I am confused.
21:24- Nobody spouts off their doctor's credentials to them. They are well-aware of their abilities.
21:26- All of these patients look totally great for needing a heart transplant.
21:26- Umm...your son eats metal. This is obviously a problem.
21:27- Via Tom "Also, his name is f-ing Auden! Auden Drinkwater?! There's no way he would've lived long enough to eat metal because he would've already been pummeled to death!"
21:28- Oh lord I think the woman who got consent at the bedside was probably the donation coordinator. Auuuugh.
21:29- Yup. The idiot is a transplant coordinator. I will cry soon.
21:30- Ummmm....jet is on standby? Really? Also, what a kickass tablet. We don't actually have these.
21:30- Good thing that dude fell off the ladder. Otherwise his wife wouldn't be having a c-section and a heart transplant all in the same day.

Commercial break: I love that now when people ask what I do for a living I can say, "You know that kid on 3 Rivers who has the IQ of an amoeba and fetches donuts for the staff meeting? That's me." Awesome. Way to totally de-glamourize the role of transplant coordination. Aaand we're back.

21:33- Of course the doctor identifies with the metal eating kid. I'm sorry, but no physician is going to tell her boss that her father wasn't home enough waaaah.
21:34- Alfre Woodard, I liked you better in basically everything else you've ever done.
21:35- Aaaand, we're back to the donor side. Time for the daughter to pitch a fit about organ donation.
21:36- CALLED IT! Also, why are the surgeons getting on a jet when the wife had already said that she didn't want to do anything til her daughter got there? The timing on this is so unrealistic. Also I want to punch the coordinator kid in the face.
21:37- omg omg omg omg that kid has to get out of there. Why would he be within 100 feet of a donor family, let alone speak to one? Who lets the cooler guys into the unit? Nobody. That's who.
21:38- How is this kid not fired right now? What is their screening process for hiring transplant coordinators? Do they go to the nearest high school and pick the dumbest kid they can find?
21:39- Is this kid going to need a transplant or is this all back-story for the whiny doctor with an absent-parent complex?
21:40- "My brain itches." So of course I swallowed tweezers and a pair of scissors. Makes sense.
21:42- And of course the pregnant chick crashes. If the solution is for the transplant team to talk to the donor family I will just die.

Commercial break: This is unrelated, but there was just a Kohler commercial where this guy flushed like 30 things down his toilet. Call me crazy, but that seems like the worst idea ever. I don't care what brand of toilet you have.

21:46- "Given everything that Terri's been through today..." You mean, her husband falling off a ladder, and then her heart stopping like 12 times?
21:47- Holy crap is she going to be a donor too? This show is depressing.
21:47- Oh Jesus please don't talk to her again. I knew they were going to turn this into a good thing. Stupid show.
21:49- This child should not be talking to this poor donor family member. I really want him off of this show. And I kind of want to choke him. A lot.
21:50- Also, way to break patient confidentiality. Yes...tell the donor family everything about the recipient. We totally do that. NOT.
21:51- Those are some pretty healthy lungs on that kid. Ah, the miracles of television.
21:52- LOL the donor's breathing tube isn't hooked up to anything.
21:53- I'm still confused why the metal eating kid is on this show. He's not getting any new organs or anything. And he's not a very cute kid. Plus he eats metal. Did she just confiscate a railroad spike from him?
21:54- Seriously...the doctor is going to be holding her hand when she wakes up? Where is her HUSBAND? And child?!
21:55- "Hi. We stole your baby and implanted you with a new heart. That'll teach you for bringing your husband into the ER with a minor scalp lac. Next time use a band-aid."
21:56- Oh Jesus. There is a satellite uplink into the nursery? They couldn't bring the baby into the room with her? The husband didn't want to be there when she woke up? Worst. Family. Ever.
21:57- I do not know a single male surgeon who would wear powder blue scrubs.

Wrap Up: Okay, so it's over. And my TV and the laptop survived. Primarily bc I needed the laptop to convey my dissatisfaction to the masses. There were some pretty glaring inaccuracies in the portrayal of the transplant process...like the timing...and some medical mistakes...like how he said her "injection fraction" was low (it's EJECTION fraction)...but overall it was just terrible. Plus really what the heck with the metal-eating kid? He didn't give or receive a transplant! Also, most doctors would've figured out that he had pica way before assuming that mommy going away for meetings once a week was making a teenager swallow tweezers.

I'll probably pop in next week to mock it again though. Because I've gotten too lazy to have original thoughts for my blog, and this show is easy to mock. Although not as easy as this show:



Til next week!

Blogpage.

My 93-year-old great-grand-aunt died last week. As a result, my mother has been very busy making arrangements and taking care of estate issues. Unfortunately this has resulted in a lot of back and forth between the bank, lawyers, and funeral home. The funeral has actually been the worst.

Initially my Mom went to the funeral home and asked if my Aunt had made pre-arrangements. The funeral home said no, so my mother went ahead and set everything up and planned to come in a hour before the service the next day to pay for everything. However, when she got home and started going through some of my Aunt's papers, she found where my late Uncle had made arrangements for the two of them in 1984 with this same funeral home. He had recorded the date, time, contact person, exact arrangements, and amount paid. So, my Aunt had ended up re-paying for my Uncle's funeral because the funeral home had denied having any records at the time of his death in 1998, and now they were trying to bilk my Mom for my Aunt's funeral. Unfortunately for them, my Mother is not someone you want to try to rip off...and she's really not someone you want to mess with when she finds out you've already pretty much robbed her sweet elderly Aunt who is now recently deceased. She's gathering her papers for a lawsuit, but in the meantime, she really wants to vent. So she called me last night.

Me: "Hey Mom"
Mom: "Listen: I think I need a blogpage."
Me: giggling my head off "I think that's a great idea. You should absolutely get a blogpage. Why the sudden interest?"
Mom: "I need one so I can warn old people about all these jerks who try to take their money!"
Me: "I'm not certain that a blogpage is the best way to reach that audience, but you should definitely try. I'll set one up for you."
Mom: "It's free?"
Me: "Yup."
Mom: "But I need one that'll be publicshed."
Me: "Are you drunk?"
Mom: "No. I need one that'll be published and read by the public. I just smashed it into one word."
Me: "Like blogpage."
Mom: "What?"
Me: "Nothing. So, make a well-written blogpage and then send the link to AARP."
Mom: "Oh, not AARP. I hate those people."
Me: "So, you only want to help the old people who are not members of AARP? Every old person's in AARP!"
Mom: "I'm not!"
Me: "Why not?! I remember when you were dying to turn 50 just so you could join and get discounts on crap you didn't need."
Mom: "That was before I found out they take your dues and use them to fund political campaigns."
Me: "Ah. I should've known that only your rabid Republicanism could outweigh your love of discount movie tickets."

So, I've created a "blogpage" for my mother, and I'm really hoping and praying that she writes on it. Because I think it would be hilarious. My mother is a riot.

BLOGPAGE!

Comments Welcome

Remember when people used to comment on blogs? You'd have the post, and then you'd have a whole conversation to keep up with in the comments. Particularly when someone had blogged something especially nerdy or controversial. It was fun to gang up on the person and make fun of them! And if it was your blog post, it was fun to know that people were reading and took the time to make fun of you. It was affectionate. And interesting. And I miss it.

Therefore, my New Year's Resolution (because why not) is to comment again. Yes with the advent of RSS readers it is monumentally easier not to go to your individual blogs and sign in and comment- but nertz to that. I like you guys. So, if you're on my list of blogs to read, expect to be hearing from me. If you don't hear from me, it's a safe bet that I'm not reading your blog and you should probably drop me a line with your URL. Because who doesn't love comments? Nobody. That's who.

Viva la Revolucion!

I'm so proud

Apparently you guys are pretty smart. :-p