Certifiable

About a week ago, I got a notice in my mailbox that I missed delivery of a certified letter. I don't know about you, but I don't get a whole lot of certified mail. Or really any mail that doesn't require me to respond with a check or money order within an allotted time span. So, I was kind of excited. I never get good mail, it's certified, and I have *no* idea who it's from! Woo! So, I sign the little sheet asking for redelivery and for them to just leave it in my doorway. The next day I arrive home and there's no certified letter. There's just my signed sheet sitting in the bottom of the mailbox...completely ignored. I'm dying to get this letter, but the post office closes so early, and of course last week is the week that I'm not spending all day on my couch in my pajamas.

It takes me another two days to finally have time to make it to the post office. I walk in and present my poor little slip that I've signed seven ways to Sunday in a vain attempt at getting them to leave the letter at my house. The lady finally finds the envelope. She flashes the return address at me before making me sign the other side. All I could read in that moment was the word "COBRA." Who the hell is COBRA?! Why would they send me a certified letter?! I just knew that the envelope would self-destruct within 10 minutes of being opened. I thought "Top Secret Bad Ass Mission Instructions. Certified."

I get out to the car and excitedly open the envelope.

"This letter is to notify you that your health insurance (from your previous employer) will lapse on July 24th. In order to insure that you are not without coverage, please fill out the enclosed forms and return no later than July 20th."

The letter is dated June 18th. Way to go. It only took 3 months to get me that certifiably urgent message.

Stupid COBRA.