3 Rivers Liveblog

So, I'm watching this show so I can talk about it at work. And it is already painful to me.

We're toward the beginning and they're going into their "Transplant Committee Meeting." I haven't really been paying attention, primarily because if the idiot kid in the tie who was surprised that livers could be split turned out to be the transplant coordinator, I was going to throw Tom's laptop through the television. Let's take it from there.

21:17- OMG do they have their staff meetings at CNN headquarters? What is up with that CRAZY technology?! Also, projecting patient histories onto a glass wall seems like it would be a pretty big HIPAA violation.
21:18- It takes longer than "how about right now" to decide to put in a VAD. How about some workup people? She walked in off the street 20 minutes ago. Cripes.
21:19- Who is this random woman in a lab coat asking about organ donation at the bedside? Make it stop!!!!!!!
21:20- I can't liveblog this anymore. It hurts me so badly. Also Counselor Troi has aged terribly and isn't really great at doing an accent other than her own.
21:21- Okay, so Troi's husband is going to donate...the pregnant chick gets the heart...what is up with the kid who swallows things? I am confused.
21:24- Nobody spouts off their doctor's credentials to them. They are well-aware of their abilities.
21:26- All of these patients look totally great for needing a heart transplant.
21:26- Umm...your son eats metal. This is obviously a problem.
21:27- Via Tom "Also, his name is f-ing Auden! Auden Drinkwater?! There's no way he would've lived long enough to eat metal because he would've already been pummeled to death!"
21:28- Oh lord I think the woman who got consent at the bedside was probably the donation coordinator. Auuuugh.
21:29- Yup. The idiot is a transplant coordinator. I will cry soon.
21:30- Ummmm....jet is on standby? Really? Also, what a kickass tablet. We don't actually have these.
21:30- Good thing that dude fell off the ladder. Otherwise his wife wouldn't be having a c-section and a heart transplant all in the same day.

Commercial break: I love that now when people ask what I do for a living I can say, "You know that kid on 3 Rivers who has the IQ of an amoeba and fetches donuts for the staff meeting? That's me." Awesome. Way to totally de-glamourize the role of transplant coordination. Aaand we're back.

21:33- Of course the doctor identifies with the metal eating kid. I'm sorry, but no physician is going to tell her boss that her father wasn't home enough waaaah.
21:34- Alfre Woodard, I liked you better in basically everything else you've ever done.
21:35- Aaaand, we're back to the donor side. Time for the daughter to pitch a fit about organ donation.
21:36- CALLED IT! Also, why are the surgeons getting on a jet when the wife had already said that she didn't want to do anything til her daughter got there? The timing on this is so unrealistic. Also I want to punch the coordinator kid in the face.
21:37- omg omg omg omg that kid has to get out of there. Why would he be within 100 feet of a donor family, let alone speak to one? Who lets the cooler guys into the unit? Nobody. That's who.
21:38- How is this kid not fired right now? What is their screening process for hiring transplant coordinators? Do they go to the nearest high school and pick the dumbest kid they can find?
21:39- Is this kid going to need a transplant or is this all back-story for the whiny doctor with an absent-parent complex?
21:40- "My brain itches." So of course I swallowed tweezers and a pair of scissors. Makes sense.
21:42- And of course the pregnant chick crashes. If the solution is for the transplant team to talk to the donor family I will just die.

Commercial break: This is unrelated, but there was just a Kohler commercial where this guy flushed like 30 things down his toilet. Call me crazy, but that seems like the worst idea ever. I don't care what brand of toilet you have.

21:46- "Given everything that Terri's been through today..." You mean, her husband falling off a ladder, and then her heart stopping like 12 times?
21:47- Holy crap is she going to be a donor too? This show is depressing.
21:47- Oh Jesus please don't talk to her again. I knew they were going to turn this into a good thing. Stupid show.
21:49- This child should not be talking to this poor donor family member. I really want him off of this show. And I kind of want to choke him. A lot.
21:50- Also, way to break patient confidentiality. Yes...tell the donor family everything about the recipient. We totally do that. NOT.
21:51- Those are some pretty healthy lungs on that kid. Ah, the miracles of television.
21:52- LOL the donor's breathing tube isn't hooked up to anything.
21:53- I'm still confused why the metal eating kid is on this show. He's not getting any new organs or anything. And he's not a very cute kid. Plus he eats metal. Did she just confiscate a railroad spike from him?
21:54- Seriously...the doctor is going to be holding her hand when she wakes up? Where is her HUSBAND? And child?!
21:55- "Hi. We stole your baby and implanted you with a new heart. That'll teach you for bringing your husband into the ER with a minor scalp lac. Next time use a band-aid."
21:56- Oh Jesus. There is a satellite uplink into the nursery? They couldn't bring the baby into the room with her? The husband didn't want to be there when she woke up? Worst. Family. Ever.
21:57- I do not know a single male surgeon who would wear powder blue scrubs.

Wrap Up: Okay, so it's over. And my TV and the laptop survived. Primarily bc I needed the laptop to convey my dissatisfaction to the masses. There were some pretty glaring inaccuracies in the portrayal of the transplant process...like the timing...and some medical mistakes...like how he said her "injection fraction" was low (it's EJECTION fraction)...but overall it was just terrible. Plus really what the heck with the metal-eating kid? He didn't give or receive a transplant! Also, most doctors would've figured out that he had pica way before assuming that mommy going away for meetings once a week was making a teenager swallow tweezers.

I'll probably pop in next week to mock it again though. Because I've gotten too lazy to have original thoughts for my blog, and this show is easy to mock. Although not as easy as this show:



Til next week!