Lester

I got home from the dress fitting and was trying to unload stuff from the car when I realized that my landlady was standing right next to me.

Me: "What's up?"
Her: "We have a bit of a situation here."
Me: "What's wrong?"
Her: "There's a baby possum trapped in one of the recycling bins."
Me: "Let it out."
Her: "But it's daytime and they're nocturnal!"
Me: "It can take a nap when it gets home."
Her: "Do you know what they eat?"
Me: "You want to feed it?? They eat anything. They eat garbage! I'm sure if you let it get close enough it will try to eat your face." (please please test that theory)
Her: "Well, I put some grass in there with it."
Me: "I don't think it's going to eat grass. It'll eat dog food, but really you should just throw it somewhere."
Her: "But it's a baby!"
Me: "It's a rat."
Her: "Do you think if I tip the bin over tonight its mother will come get it?"
Me: "Sure." (actual answer: no)
Her: "If I pick it up do you think it'll bite?"
Me: "Absolutely."
Her: "Even though it's a baby?"
Me: "If it was a baby, it'd still be living in its mother's pouch. That thing is on its own and I guarantee it has teeth. Either let it out or call Animal Control."
Her: "I'm sorry, I'm a city girl. You're the one from the country, that's why I'm asking you!"
Me: "In the country, someone would shoot it."
Her (looking horrified): "I'll go get some dog food."
Me: "See you later."

This is the first thing I think of when I think of possums. Thank you Disney for taking over my mind. Also, the little yodeling girl is hilaarious in this video. We used to tease my sister for looking like her.