On the front it says, "Can we help with your Planning?" and this picture:
The subheading describes this patch of grass as "One of the most naturally beautiful settings in New England!" Nice try, Puritans.
So, I assumed it was a wedding brochure (Tip: never ever get a profile on TheKnot.com) Get married or have your reception in this big field! Something like that.
Open the brochure, it's from "Puritan Lawn Memorial Park" and below is the subheading "If this arrives at a time of sickness or sorrow, please accept our sincerest apologies."
And then it goes on to outline my traditional and cremation planning options. And if I return the postage-paid info card, they'll send a complimentary guide for my survivors. Sooo, when the rocks finally get me, I'll have my arrangements all set.
I am 26 frakkin' years old. WTF.